Friday afternoon I boarded a plane from Toronto to head out to Calgary on my way home! It was the end of one of my more frequent trips and I was looking forward to a weekend at home...and away from book business.
A man gray with illness boarded the plane late, and with the help of an attendant placed his bags above his seat. Now when someone looks visibly ill and they get on a plane from Toronto you can't help but think bird flu or SAARS. I tried not to think of it...and had all the success of you trying not to think about candy canes right about now...see what I mean...you thought about them!
About two hours into the flight...I was enjoying my middle seat...when an announcement was made. The flight crew was looking for a doctor. They found one...one who could be a stand in for Donald Sutherland...I wondered what kind of Doctor he was...What if you were a podaitrist and they made that call..would you identify yourself as a doctor. Any how he worked on the gray man for half an hour and had him moved to first class....where someoene surrendered their seat... and came and sat in the sick man's seat. I know...there is probably a sermon illustration in there somewhere!
Within a few moments...he was taken to the back of the plane and laid flat down the aisle. This became a concern to...say....a guy from Devon who had to go to the bathroom. I had to step over him. It was clear he wasn't doing well.
Before another fifteen minutes of " Walk the Line" had passed...the captain informed us we would be stopping in Winnipeg and getting the gray man the medical attention he needed. All in all , he informed us, we would be on the ground a half an hour.
How about two hours. One hour for the paramedics. A half-an-hour to have some guys in white coveralls come in and spray the plane seat and carpet with some sort of disinfectant...and half-na-hour to de-ice the plane. We all like sheep had missed our connections.
I knew this would mean some minor irritants. But for the several families and couples heading to sunny Mexico the night turned dark and ugly. I am not sure...but it seemed to me that some of the people would have preferred to fly with a corpse if it meant they wouldn't miss a free margarita at some all inclusive joint south of the border. For my seatmate, all it meant was he was way past drining his "fruit-juice" he brought on the plane, and had to hit the stewardess for three successive bottles of wine and a couple of beer. I guess if you are gonna miss your flight you might as well work on forgetting your whole day.
When we arrived in Calgary, an hour after I was supposed to arrive home, an "I hate my life" worker from Air Canada greeted us at the gate with vouchers for hotel rooms and breakfast. I went to pick up my luggage which did not arrive, after almost an hour of waiting. When we inquired, we were told our luggage (Edmonton bound) had been set on a special rack. It didn't seem special.
When I phoned the shuttle to arrange a ride to my hotel, I was informed, after spelling my name three times that I did not have a room waiting for me and that I had better check out what was going on with Air Canada. When I went up to see them, which took a long time standing in line I was told that I would get a different hotel room and that they would give me vouchers for a taxi. The taxi line was busy so after another hour I was picked up by a shuttle and dropped off at a hotel. I was given a breakfast voucher which I never used because after four hours of sleep I was back on a plane headed for home...Ah there is no place like home...say it with me...
